6 hours agoOh no they didn't!!!!!! @Fearnecotton & @lemontwittor finally get it on via @CelebJuice :-0
2 days agoMrs @MaiaDunphy has to say that, I had a lawyer draft it into our vows ;-) #ShesMoreYourKrankiesSenseOfHumourx x
3 days agoRT @MaiaDunphy: @JohnnyVegasReal
3 days agoDid 2 hours rugby 'coaching' with mini me before they pick the school team tomorrow. My ageing hip and his gusto for tackling are kicking in
3 days agoRT @may_jemma: A lesson from 11 entitled 'how to make your mum feel like the worst parent ever!'
3 days agoDropping my son back tonight he presented me with this "I got you this, you like it right?" #IDontDeserveSuchACoolKid
3 days agoNot a nice feeling is it? Feels a bit invasive doesn't it? Manners cost nothing do they? #NotSoSneakySnappers
3 days agoAll I want to do is get to Richmond & give my lad a bit of rugby coaching before school try outs tomorrow. C'mon @TfLOfficial get moving...
3 days agoCheck out the launch of this exhibition of paintings inspired by @ggaffa 's genius short stories http://t.co/ffGKxEYRRO? #MustGetAlongToThat
3 days agoHUGE thanks to the @frogandbucket & @ComedyStoreMCR for allowing me out to play last night. Top crowds, great reception #FeltGoodToBeBack x
4 days agoConsidering doing a sneaky open stand up spot tonight & already my breakfast's desperate to bail out via the wrong exit #GagReflex :-(
5 days agoA few tickets for 1 of my absolute favourite comics of recent years @lucybeaumont still available for @sohotheatre October 1-4th #AClassAct
5 days agoWell hello there gorgeous, you're quite the homecoming present x #PSVita #YesItsAFreebieAndNoIDontCare #ShamelessPlug
1 week agoRT @livecomedy: Next week Foster's @ComedyAwards nominee, @lucybeaumont, takes her sold out #EdFringe show to @SohoTheatre. Book now http:?
1 week agoRT @MarkCollyerReal: @JohnnyVegasReal Sorry to disappoint, but he's seen your Tweet and called in the sign writers to avoid paternity pay. ?
1 week agoAfter years of searching I might've finally tracked down my biological Dad. If Tony has a perm there will be tears...
1 week agoWell I empathises with Harrison Ford. Pigeon holed into iconic action hero roles...Han/Indy Where was his monkey/teabag advert huh? Well?
1 week agoRT @MaiaDunphy: My husband @JohnnyVegasReal will do whatever you want for cash. Um... isn't there a word for that? #StarsAtYourService
1 week agoGutted I'll miss the maestro @petewylie at @citadelsthelens on October 4th. Clashes with my @Justthetonic Anniversary gig in Notts #NoFair
1 week agoRT @petewylie: News of my new recording, 'Pete Sounds' coming VERY soon! @HarryGee1892 @PledgeMusic Have a free acoustic tease http://t.co/?
1 week agoRT @STHLibraries: #NewtonleWillows #Library is having their #LiBEARYSleepover this Thursday! Don't miss the fun - Take along your teddy htt?
1 week agoLads off a North Sea oil rig requested I go clean their deluge pipes last week #NotAEuphemism Can you beat that? @StandUp2C @starservice